Humans learn how to deal with the pain of loss. As a matter of fact, we learn at an early age that being busy is a way to deal with the loss of a loved one. In other words, many people deal with grief by staying busy.
Last week, my father-in-law passed away, and a memorial service was held last weekend. My wife had been busy preparing for the memorial service, such that she seemed oblivious to her loss.
I must say getting busy has immediate payoff. In life, many of us use the same strategy to deal with difficulties in our lives: we keep ourselves busy to avoid unpleasant or difficult experiences. We keep ourselves busy to earn more money, to gain more respect, or both. We get busier and busier - it has become addictive. Unfortunately, at the end, everything falls apart, and we become distressed and disillusioned.
Be mindful of your busyness. Mindfulness requires you to take time to explore your inner self - that is, what is most important to you. You can be busy, while maintaining your mindfulness.
A Buddhist teacher once said: "When you are washing dishes, wash dishes. When you are talking on the phone, talk on the phone." But many people are talking on the phone, while driving!
Mindfulness is "concentrated" relaxation because your mind focus on the present moment, not the past, and not the future. Remember, only the present is real to you.
For more information on mental wellness, go to: Mental and Spiritual Wellness.
Stephen Lau
